How Christmas Mania Begins...A True Story

I’ve always been a bit…precocious (read mouthy). Since being in the comfort of the womb, I’ve always had an answer for everything. If she drummed on my house, I drummed back on her innards. It was a game we played…big fun. But my precocious nature did not always serve me well. In fact, it has been the prelude to many a “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out” moments. …but I digress.

So, it was 1970-something. I want to say I was about 6 years old (fact checked, I was 6 years old). It was Christmas Eve in St. Louis, MO. Dad was out attending to last minute Santa Helper duties and me, Mom, and the dog were at home enjoying Christmas Eve festivities. …and by festivities, I mean I was chilling in their super huge bed watching Christmas cartoons and she was slaving in the kitchen. I think she was baking. Doesn’t matter. All was right in the world.

The evening has pretty much sped by and my bed time was approaching. Moms comes into her bedroom, interrupts a pivotal moment in the Frosty the Snowman saga and proceeds with, “You better brush your teeth and go to bed. You know Santa won’t come if he sees your bedroom light on.”

Little did this sweet, dear lady know, I already had my evening figured out. I was going to catch a few more Christmas cartoons, eat some Christmas cookies and wait around to catch the Bearded One (that’s Santa Claus to those who aren’t in the know) executing the Christmas Eve Ops.

“I’m not ready to go to sleep,” I told her. “I’m going to stay up and wait for Santa."

“I think you should go to bed, little girl.” She said “little girl” like I was annoying her but I was a precocious and determined child. Oh, I was staying up, alright.

“I’m going to wait for Santa Claus,” I repeated.

She shook her head (THAT was annoying) and went back to the kitchen. By the time I got back to Frosty, he had melted, come back to life and was singing his goodbye song. Which was ok because something else would come on right after his show was over.

Two shows later, maybe about an hour later, She comes back. “Little girl, I told you to brush your teeth and go to bed. You’re going to be very sad in the morning when you wake up and see that Santa didn’t bring you anything.”

I wasn’t buying it. I just turned my attention back to the TV and picked up where Rudolph wasn’t allowed to get in on the games.  Rude.

So, she left and went back to the kitchen. I can’t be sure but I think I heard some under the breath mutterings. “That child is gon’ make me say something to her on Christmas Eve. Lord, help me stay a Christian tonight and not hang her up by her footed pajamas.”  You, know.  The things all parents say about their kids to keep from doing or saying something worse. THAT’S what she was muttering under her breath. I’m pretty sure.

All of a sudden, they interrupted my “regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you the latest news of Santa’s whereabouts.” I have to admit, that got my attention. I sit up on the bed like a responsible and engaged news watcher and waited to her the update.

“Our radar has just confirmed that Santa Claus has been spotted leaving blah-blah-blah county. He is headed toward St. Clair County and should be there within the next few minutes.” Say whaaaaat?? My eyes were as big as ginger snap cookies.

“If any little children are still awake, now is the time to go to bed. We’ve already heard reports that Santa has passed over houses where the lights in the kid’s rooms were still on.” That was all I needed to hear! I jumped off the bed and hauled my precocious little self, padded feet and all, down the hallway to the kitchen.

“Mom!!!!” They just interrupted my show to say they saw Santa headed this way. Is that real???

“Well, child,” she said trying hard not to make me feel bad by releasing the belly laugh that was brewing inside of her, “It’s on the news. Of course it’s real."

I was only six at the time but I think I remember thinking, “what the hell??” I was absolutely stunned.  …but I had a plan.

“I’m going to go to bed now,” I said in my sweetest voice. “Will you come sing me a lullaby?”

You would have thought I had just climbed up a cabinet and smacked her. “Sing you a lullaby?! Little girl…”

Alright. Here’ it comes.

She put her hands on her hip (such a mother thing to do). “I’ve been trying to get you to go to bed for a couple of hours. You insisted on staying up. You wanted to watch TV. You wanted to see Santa.  …and now that he’s on his way you want me to stop what I’m doing, sing you a lullaby and rock you to sleep?”

Side note: She was always a smart lady. She summed up my requirements very well. But she threw some tinsel in the tea.

“I will not sing you a lullaby and I will not rock you to sleep. Next time, listen to your mother.”

What the…??? A Jedi mind trick on Christmas Eve? Who has time for these games??

“But I’ll miss Santa Claus. He won’t leave me any presents.” Was she not getting it? This is the A-Number One Kid Holiday. How could she forsake me like this? Maybe I was adopted. Surely, my own mother could put aside our differences for the sake of me getting gifts. What is this devilry?

Then she said something that let me know I was no longer a toddler. I was a big girl.

“You’re a big girl (there it was). You tell your Mom when you want to go to bed now, huh? Well, big girls also sing themselves to sleep."

This was just too much. Here I was, in danger of missing the zenith of the whole kid year on a technicality. Nothing to do but…

I hauled padded feet back down the hallway and fast as I could with my wonder dog getting in the way with every step. I long jumped from the door way to my bed and within a few second I was covered up, the lights were out and I was gently singing an oldie but goodie… “Rock-A-Bye-Baby” and very lovingly rocking myself to sleep.

My mother says that she came to check on me a few minutes later and I was either totally asleep or totally faking it. She was just glad to have me tucked in and out of her hair so she could finish her Christmas Eve obligations. I’m sure she called everyone she knew and had big laughs at my expense (it’s what I would do).

I can report that since I am not physically, mentally, or emotionally scarred from that fateful evening, Christmas morning was everything I wanted. I can’t remember everything I got that year but I do remember the gorgeous 3 level doll house I got. It had furniture and carpet and was taller than I was. As parents sometimes do, my parents have been paying the taxes on the property since I moved out and grew up. I will, of course, resume ownership of the dwelling and commence with a fairly extensive renovation in the new year. The house is, after all, over 30 years old and I’ve been watching a lot of HGTV.

That Christmas was the Christmas that unleashed my inner Ralphie (from the movie “A Christmas Story”). Every since then, I’ve shaken presents, named Christmas trees, decorated my homes to look like North Pole vacation property, watched almost every Christmas show that comes son TV, hosted many Christmas movie-watchin’ weekends, and well…just enjoyed every twinkling second of my Christmas holiday…including singing the words to every single Christmas carol I hear.

As Buddy the Elf says, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is signing loud for all to hear.”

…and going to bed when your mother tells you to.

Wow ‘Em On Christmas Morning!

When Christmas morning arrives, the last thing we should be thinking about is all of the gifts under the tree. We should remember how this time of year is for giving from our hearts and not expecting anything in return. We should be thinking about friends and loved ones who may not be doing well this time of year. We should think about the Christmas Miracle and that the little Baby Jesus was born.

But seriously, didn’t we think about all of that at church on Christmas Eve? In my family, my mother has always instilled in us “the reason for the season” and we show our respects at Christmas Eve Mass.

…so that on Christmas morning, we can act like the lunatics we are and rip through the precisely wrapped gifts in record time. Dad always plays Santa (we’re going to ask for his resignation soon because he moves too slow) and one of the younger kids always plays Santa’s Helper. My mom is always singing and cooking in the kitchen and we have to threaten to halt Christmas just so she’ll come sit down and participate. It’s a whole thing at the house but what I’m getting at is – GIFTS!!!!

I’ve researched a couple of ideas that I think will make excellent Christmas gifts for family and friends. These gift ideas are gender neutral and will deliver just the right amount of “ooooo’s and aaaaaah’s” on Christmas morning.

Here’s the list.  Be sure to check it twice!

1.       Art

Normally, art is a personal thing. The owner has to just want to die for a piece of art (or it could just be me). But the art I’m talking about isn’t the hoity-toity art. Find a landmark from a place beloved by the person receiving the gift. Have a unique art application applied to it. The image above is the Eifel Tower with a Van Gogh treatment. Cool, huh? Or take a photo of the person receiving the gift and give it the Warhol treatment. I’m a huge fan of www.photowow.com.

2.       …and Speaking of Cool Art

Give the gift of sound this Christmas. Have the sound waves of your voice saying a sentence printed on to a canvas with a QR Code that, when scanned, will playback you actually saying the sentence. Choose an inside joke punchline, the standard holiday greeting or those three magic words people never tire of hearing.  Click here for more info: https://www.etsy.com/listing/464557589/custom-handwriting-gift-voice-art-sound?ref=unav_listing-other-19

3.       Cookbook

There are so many recipes floating around the family. Someone knows how to make Grandma’s cornbread dressing and someone else knows how to make her Waldorf Salad. Uncle Carl makes a mean BBQ sauce and Aunt Brenda fries chicken that beats KFC, beaks down! The problem is, none of these recipes are compiled in one place. You can do that. Put together a family cookbook with pictures, stories, and more. That book will become a family heirloom. Trust me! Try this site to get you started www.cookbookcreate.

4.   A DNA Analysis Kit

Ok, so you remember your grandparents telling you how your great-great-great grandparents swam to America from distant shores. Or, if you’re African American, the stories aren’t so clear. Why not answer some questions once and for all and find out where EXACTLY your ancestors came from. Who knows? Maybe your people are from Mars. I know that would explain a lot about my family.  ;)  Get a DNA kit from www.myheritage.com for $69.00.

5.       Message Band

These powerful little treasures are (your choice of) metal bangle bracelets inscribed with a message meant to give you a daily dose of empowerment. The company I buy my gifts from (www.mantraband.com) has so many mantras to choose from. A few of my favorites are, “What If You Fly,” “Be You, Love You, All Ways, Always,” “You Are My Person,” “Carpe Diem,” and “Though She Be Small, She Is Fierce.” …and these gorgeous stackable bracelets, for men and women, are only $25 each.

6.       Streaming Stick

Whether you’re a cable cord cutter (see September blogs) or just a tv/movie watcher on the go, streaming sticks are awesome. In a nutshell, they allow the user to keep all of their entertainment choices on a USB drive so it can be watch on any monitor with a USB port. They’re awesome! The basic Roku streaming stick costs $50.00

7.       Tile

My mother, whom I love most dearly, canNOT keep up with her phone. My husband is always losing his wallet. My stepson has issues finding his house key. Let me tell you, I am a woman on the edge. If you too are living the life of that of a Seeker For All That Is Lost, give the gift of Tile. This super slim device can be inserted into a wallet with no bulk, added to a key chain, or slid into a cell phone case. If an item is lost, go to the website and be given the exact location of where it is. I’ll gladly pay $25 for each Tile needed if it means I don’t have to be the one on safari looking for whatever is lost now.

8.       The Inverted, Reverse Umbrella with “C” Handle

You’ve seen the commercial about the umbrella that open in the opposite way we’re used to. All I can say is…get one!! I love mine. It really is super easy to get in and out of the house, car, building door, because of the way it opens and closes. The “C” handle can be used to hold keys, a purse, small/lightweight bags, and will slide over (some) wrists. Currently, these umbrellas cost $27.00 but I’d gladly pay $50. …especially for the ones that have a pretty scene painted on its ceiling.

9.       Subscription Box

It is noooooo secret that I think subscription boxes are the coolest things since the Snuggie (and if you know me, you know I loooooooooove muh Snuggie!) A subscription box is a mail order service that, based on your preference, will mail out goodies to you once a month or every 3, 6 or 9 months for a fee. Do you know a wine lover? Instead of the wine of the month club, give them a “wine by the glass a month” subscription. Want to give a gift that keeps on giving? Give your loved one a subscription box to a service that mails out the latest trends. No matter what interests the people in your life, believe me – there is a subscription box out there. Don’t want to commit to a long term subscription. No problem! Most subscription services have a one-time purchase option. Click here for a list of most wanted subscription boxes: http://boxes.mysubscriptionaddiction.com/most_wanted

10.       Cold Hard Cash

If you find yourself needing a last minute gift, cash is always acceptable. It’s easy on you and allows the person getting the gift the opportunity to get something that maybe Santa forgot to leave under the tree. To make it more than just cash in an envelope, try one of these cool presentation. As so many chefs (and parents) know, presentation is everything.

Some people just do not enjoy the whole Christmas gift-buying ordeal. They may be nervous about getting someone the wrong gift. Maybe the budget is a little under the weather (whose isn’t, am I right?) Maybe they’re undercover Scrooges.

Then there are some people who like the whole process of buying Christmas gifts. I am one of those people. I pick the first name on the list and quickly run through my year with them. What did they like or not like? Did they mention anything they’d like to have? Do they have a hobby or interest? If I can’t get a good gift idea from that, I start on Plan B…something unique, unexpected, and that will last years. That’s how this list was developed.

BUT!!...In keeping with what Christmas is really all about, when picking a gift, it really is the thought that counts. Trust your instincts and you’ll give just the perfect gift. You’ll get the perfect gift, too…smiles and hugs are priceless.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Hygge: The Art of Cozy

Let me introduce a Danish word to you. The word is hygge. Hygge (pronounced hue-guh not hoo-gah) “is used when acknowledging a feeling or moment, whether alone or with friends, at home or out, ordinary or extraordinary as cozy, charming or special.”

Hygge doesn’t require learning “how to”, adopting it as a lifestyle or buying anything. It’s not a thing and anyone telling you different either doesn’t understand it or is literally trying to sell you something that has nothing to do with the concept. You can’t buy a ‘hygge living room’ and there’s no ‘hygge foods’ to eat.

Hygge literally only requires consciousness, a certain slowness, and the ability to not just be present – but recognize and enjoy the present. That’s why so many people distill ‘hygge’ down to being a ‘feeling.’ You have to feel hygge.

Some also refer to hygge as an “art of creating intimacy” (either with yourself, friends and your home). While there’s no one English word to describe hygge, several can be used interchangeably to describe the idea of hygge such as coziness, charm, happiness, ‘contentness’, security, familiarity, comfort, reassurance, kinship, and simpleness.

Danes created hygge because they were trying to survive boredom, cold, dark and sameness and the undefinable feeling of Hygge was a way for them to find moments to celebrate or acknowledge and to break up the day, months or years. With so many cold, dark, days, the simple act of a candle glowing with a cup of coffee in the morning or a home cooked evening meal with friends can make a huge difference to one’s spirit.

By creating simple rituals without effort {such as brewing real tea with a little china cup every evening to stopping at the flower shop every week} the Danes see both the domestic and personal life as an art form and not every drudgery to get away from. They incorporate hygge into their daily life so it becomes a natural extension rather than a forced and stressful event.

So whether it’s making coffee a verb by creating a ritual of making it every morning to a cozy evening in with friends where you’re just enjoying each other’s company to the simple act of lighting a candle with every meal, hygge is just about being aware of a good moment.

(Read the full article at http://hyggehouse.com/hygge)


So how can you bring the art of cozy or hygge into your home this fall and winter?

Use candles … and a lot of them.

Candle light is the biggest component to hygge. They give a comforting, gentle light and help relax people. They make homes look cozy and inviting.

Blankets and cushions

The next thing you need is some cozy, nesting materials for your sofas. Warm snuggly blankets and soft cushions to relax into and keep you feeling warm. Fleece throws, warm socks, a snuggie, a knit blanket… Bring all the blankets and cushions.

People!

You need people for your hygge experience. Snuggling with your partner or family watching a movie; a group of friends sitting around gossiping with a glass of wine, a close friend and a delicious cake or table full of family enjoying a lovely meal by (of course) candlelight. Avoid talking about anything controversial to ensure the feeling of hygge continues - a hyggeligt evening is not about hot debate! It is about simplicity. No fancy competitive cooking, nor showing how clever your conversation is. It is a gathering of people to enjoy the simple pleasures of life together and to feel warm, cozy, and content.

Food and drink

Warm hot chocolate or a pot of tea with a home baked cake is hygge..a bottle of red wine and some nibbles…or just a bag of sweets in a bowl (not out of a bag - packaging is not hyggeligt)! Enjoy these delectable while watching a movie on the TV or having great conversation. Remember, presentation of your food and drink is important to hygge – it’s all about the experience and a commercial package on the table just won’t cut it!

I love the idea of cozy being an art form. I don’t think people pay enough attention to the feeling inside their home as they do the curb appeal outside of their home. The biggest thing for me is that hygge has nothing to do with material possessions but everything to do with people, happiness and enjoying the moment. Thank you, Denmark, for making the idea of people experiences over material possessions and technology popular. I think the world will end up owing you a great debt.

Fall Fun in the District, Maryland, and Virginia

 Did you know I’m a fan o’ fall? If this is your first time on our blog page, (first of all, welcome!). Secondly, it’s no secret that I think fall is the best of all the seasons. Maybe I shouldn’t have a favorite season. Maybe it’s like being a parent and having a favorite child is somehow unfair. But honestly, be it season or child, we do have favorites, don’t we? Don’t worry. The favorite child thing will be our secret.

Although those that suffer with allergies may disagree, fall is truly worth the wait. The air is crisp, the trees are full of beautifully colored leaves, boots and scarves are back “in”, and hot chocolate can once again be consumed in large quantities.

To help me remember to do all of the things I’ve been thinking about since Memorial Day, I make a “Fall Things to Do” list. Yeah, some of the things on the list don’t get checked off…but that’s ok! I can guarantee that I, and everyone around me, had fun doing what we did!!

If you don’t already have a list of things planned to do this season, we can help. Check out the list below.

Things to Do Outside of the Home

1. Visit a Virginia Winery

I’m not a wine drinker so my friends think I’m missing out and my family thinks I’m adopted. However, I did grow up in Germany and have a strong appreciation for the wine process, pairings with food, and especially, the beauty of a vineyard. Lo and behold, Virginia has its own winery’s and vineyards. Who knew? Grab your loved one or your party posse and take a day trip out to a local winery. I bet they even offer free samples. ;)

Start your winery research here:

Stone Tower Winery: http://www.stonetowerwinery.com

Rappahannock Cellars: https://www.rappahannockcellars.com

Greenhill Winery & Vinyards: http://greenhillvineyards.com

2.  Cox Farms Fall Festival

Even if you aren’t a fall freak like me, it’s still a time of year that teens and younger kids can have big fun! Head out to Cox Farms (only 27 miles from Ft. Myer). The annual fall festival has a corn maze, market, food, hay rides, and other attractions. Go there, participate in a few attractions, buy a couple of apples and a pumpkin or two and, voila! You’ve just made a memory!

3.  Rock Creek Park

Become one with nature this fall with a visit to Rock Creek Park. Let the kiddos release some pent-up energy at one of the many playgrounds found throughout the park, followed up by a refuel with a picnic lunch. For a small fee, you can enjoy a horseback ride, or rent a bicycle and feel the crisp breeze take over as you coast down one of the paved bike paths. For those that love the night sky, Rock Creek Park has an on-site planetarium. Park Rangers also conduct free programs twice a day on Saturdays and Sundays. Rangers also lead outdoor night sky programs with telescopes through November. Free tickets may be picked up for these programs one hour in advance at the Nature Center.

https://www.nps.gov/rocr/index.htm

4.  Arlington National Cemetery / Tomb of The Unknown Soldier

The National Cemetery encompasses 624 acres overlooking the Potomac River across from Washington, D.C. In addition to The Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers, Arlington contains other monuments and memorials. These include the Space Shuttle Challenger Memorial which honors the crew of STS-51-L who died on January 28, 1986 shortly after liftoff. A similar memorial honors the crew of STS-107 who perished when the shuttle Columbia was destroyed during reentry on February 1, 2003. There are also monuments to Women in Military Service for America and a Cross of Sacrifice honoring Americans who fought with Canadian Forces during both World Wars and Korea. Other memorials honor those who died on Pan Am Flight 103 when it exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland and in the Pentagon attack on September 11, 2001.

Please note that in November, the Changing of The Guard takes place every hour on the hour.

Things to Do Inside of the Home

1. 30 Pay Picture Challenge

Now that we have a camera with us at all times (thanks to the little computer we carry with us disguised as a smart phone), we’re able to take pictures rather quickly to capture all the moments. Put your smart phone camera skills to use for good and participate in a November picture. The premise behind the activity is to take a specific picture each day of the month to capture your life for the month. You can do this with friends or family…or both. Make it fun and show everybody’s pictures at the end of November at a pizza party or offer a prize for the person who completes the whole 30 days. It doesn’t matter how you end the challenge as long as you participate!

2. Make Caramel Apples

Caramel apples is another reason fall is the best season ever! The original caramel apple is delicious on its own but now sophisticated-type people are adding toppings to the caramel. Imagine dipping the juicy Golden Delicious Apple into the warm and melted caramel…then dipping that into a bowl of crushed peanuts, chocolate shavings, or coconut. Genius! I serve these a lot for dessert throughout fall. I take a variety of caramel apples, slice them into wedges, and present them on a serving platter. Yumm-o!

3.  Decorate Your Home in Fall Coziness

I used to think decorating for the holidays was an expensive venture. You need 5 scarecrows, guest towels, kitchen mats, fake leaves, pumpkins, something called “mums”, candles, Pilgrims… That stuff can get expensive, so I thought. We found some really cool and inexpensive ways to turn your home into a beacon of fall coziness. Visit us on Pinterest to see all about it. @jbmhhfmwr

4.  Smell The Sounds of The Season

I looooooove a house that smells like something other than house. A house can smell like boiled, dirty socks, cat, wet dog, stale laundry, last night’s dinner, etc. I like the (not so strong) smell of candles or potpourri in a home. I especially like to smell the season. Nothing is better than walking outside on chilly, somewhat breezy day, and smelling a fireplace or leaves burning. Those smells mean it’s fall! Try a seasonal simmer pot to add a fragrant, seasonal aroma to your beautifully decorated house…especially if company is coming over.

These are just a few things you can do to really enjoy and get the most out of this most beautiful season! Autumn has finally returned and I’ve “fall”en in love all over again.

The Truth Is Just As Scary as Fiction...If Not Worse

True Horror Stories

Ok. I think I’ve said this before. I’m a chicken. I’m an evolved chicken because I can admit that I’m a chicken. I think Descartes said, “I’m a chicken, therefore I am.” …but the odd thing is, I like watching horror movies.

Maybe “watch” is a strong word. I like what happens when I plan to watch a horror movie. I like to watch trailers for horror movies and decide if I could even remotely, in the wildest and farthest reaches of my lily-livered imagination think I could possibly sit through two hours of blood, guts, and demonic possession. Once I’ve determined that there isn’t one horror film on the planet I can watch and not scream like a teen at a concert, I find one I know I won’t be able to watch and, well…plan to watch it.

I get the snuggie (a must for a proper chill), the popcorn, and a cross because one can never be to sure (just kidding). I get my body guard (to be honest, the helpless soul who’ll have to baby-sit me through this – usually my husband), we turn off the lights (the first sign that this won’t go well) and proceed to watch the movie (through the little hole in the snuggie I burned with a candle).

In the end, I do more laughing than screaming. The “made you jump” scenes are funny because you kinda feel foolish jumping at something that’s not even happening around you. …and my husband and I are so goofy, it takes us a long time to recover from laughing…me at jumping and him at me. It’s fun! Then I get close to him again (the best part because he always smells soooo good) and we continue with the movie. Good times!

It is a good time because in the recesses of my mind, I know that the winged creature wearing a trench coat and fedora who’s killing innocent people on a dark and lonely highway then eating their organs can’t possibly be real. Some weirdo somewhere ate some bad food, had a dream and made it into a movie. Good times!

It’s the movies based on real stories that really make a chicken out of me. You’d be surprised how many popular and wildly scary movies are actually based on real people. Seriously, just doing the research on this gave me the furry willies. Keep reading. You’ll get the furry willies, too.

Let’s start with the mother of all horror movies (pun intended)

Psycho

Pyscho's Norman Bates is loosely based on convicted murderer and grave robber Ed Gein, who, during the late 1950s, killed women and dug up corpses in Wisconsin. He also made human skin into tiny keepsakes and knickknacks, such as face masks, lamp shades made of women’s lips, bowls made of skulls, belts made of women’s nipples, and furniture slipcovers. Psycho novelist Robert Bloch based Bates on Gein, but changed the character from a grave robber and murderer into a serial killer who dressed like his mother. While institutionalized Gein admitted to killing these women (who looked like his mother) so he could make a skin suit that he could slip into and become her. Duuuuude.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Wes Craven based A Nightmare on Elm Street on a series of newspaper articles from the Los Angeles Times about a strange phenomenon where young Asian refugees would mysteriously die in their sleep. It was reported that many would refuse to sleep, saying they had terrifying nightmares feared they would die in their sleep.

One story Craven heard about was about the son of a physician who was about 21 years old. Everybody in his family keep insisting that he go to sleep.  The young man kept saying, "No, you don’t understand; I’ve had nightmares before—this is different." They gave him sleeping pills and supposedly he did, but he managed to stay up anyway. He stayed up for six or seven days. Finally, he was watching television with the family, fell asleep on the couch, and everybody said, "Thank god." They literally carried him upstairs to bed; he was completely exhausted. Everybody went to bed, thinking it was all over. In the middle of the night, they heard screams and crashing. They ran into the room, and by the time they got to him he was dead. They found a Mr. Coffee maker in his closet, full of hot coffee that he had used to keep awake, and they also found all his sleeping pills that they thought he had taken. He had spit them back out and hidden them. They had an autopsy performed, and there was no heart attack; he just had died for unexplained reasons.

Child's Play

(I can tell you now, knowing this was based on a true story, all dolls go into the trash…tonight!)  In 1909, a Key West painter and author names Robert Eugene Otto claimed that one of his family's servants placed a voodoo curse on his childhood toy, Robert the Doll (sounds like the name of a serial killer doll, doesn’t it?). Supposedly, the doll would mysteriously move from room to room, knock furniture over, and conduct conversations with Otto. Robert the Doll was left in the attic until Otto's death in 1974. When new owners moved into Otto’s Florida home, they also claimed mysterious activities - connected to the doll - would happen in the house. Today, Robert the Doll is on display at the Custom House and Old Post Office in Key West, Florida (not that I will EVER go there). It’s all very Annabelle-ish.

The Girl Next Door

Based on the novel of the same name, The Girl Next Door is based on the 1965 murder of Sylvia Likens, a 16-year-old girl from Indiana. Sylvia and her sister Jenny were left in the care of Gertrude Baniszewski, a family friend, when their parents left town as traveling carnival workers. Baniszewski, along with her children and a few neighborhood kids, locked Sylvia in the basement, where they tortured and abused her until she died of a brain hemorrhage and malnutrition. What the…what??

The Hills Have Eyes

As this 15^th century legend goes, Sawney Bean, the son of a landscaper, had no desire to follow in his father’s footsteps.  Instead he took his wife and headed for a coastal cave in Bennane Head, Scotland. There he would live and raise his family of eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters, most of which were the product of incest.

Sleeping the days away in their cave and waiting for the cover of darkness, the Bean’s would ambush travelers robbing and then murdering them. The bodies were then taken back to the cave where they were dismembered and prepared for dinner. For twenty-five years, the family operated in secret. Although nearby villagers were aware of the disappearances, as well as the occasional body-parts which washed up on their shores, they were unaware of who was responsible for the crimes. Eventually, a would-be victim was able to fight off his would-be murderers and the Bean Clan was found, captured, and put to a grisly death. It’s said they killed and ate over 1,000 victims.  This is just a whole new level of nope.

The Serpent and The Rainbow

This movie is based on the experiences of Ethnobotanist Wade Davis who traveled to Haiti to research the real case of Clairvius Narcisse, a supposedly real zombie. Here’s what happened to ol’ Clairivus.

Clairvius checked into a local hospital way back in 1962 because he didn’t feel so well. Once at the hospital, he began to feel feverish, had trouble breathing, and felt what he claimed were bugs crawling all over his skin. It wasn’t too long after that doctors pronounced him dead. Clairvius was buried a few days later. End of story, right? Well, it was the end of the story until one day in 1981 when Angelina Narcisse, Clairvius’ sister, saw him walking down the street. A bizarre sighting considering not one, but two American doctors had declared him dead back in 1962.  I actually saw this movie and it is, to put it mildly, creep-py.

Now, after learning that these movies are based on true life events, you aren’t more scared to watch them then you are, indeed, my Horror Movie Hero! …and I’ll just stick to PG-13 slashers.