Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Sometimes becoming an adult takes launching...



There is nothing on this planet, or any other planet I presume, that can prepare us for the incredibly difficult job that is parenting. No course, no book, nor any documentary can fully encompass the day-to-day-to-day grind that becomes your life once that wiggly, bouncing, bundle of joy enters the picture. Whether you birth the child or adopt, becoming a parent is like slamming into a wall at nine thousand miles an hour without a seatbelt. Or an airbag. Or an emergency plan. One moment you are you, and the next moment you are…. something entirely else. It is exhilarating, tiring, emotional, and altogether something new that only experience can teach us. 

You take this tiny specimen and fumble through each step of keeping them alive and safe from one phase to the next, hoping that somewhere along the way you are teaching them proper principles, tools, and a healthy amount of respect. You pray that there are few bumps, bruises, and illnesses along the way, with a healthy dose of “please don’t let them repeat that” if something undesirable slips from your tongue. 

Hey. It happens. Even to the best of us. 

Then, suddenly you look up and that spit-up prone infant is an “independent” teenager, who then turns to you and is grown. They become free-thinking, self-guided humans that should be moving on to the next phase in their lives- one that inevitably should not involve much parenting from you….

Should, being the operative word. Sometimes maybe they are too comfortable…

I read an article online today that, if you are a parent- especially a parent of older children- will make you smile. A Japanese couple gifted their 20 year old son the certificate of a lifetime: A Notice of Expiration of Child-Rearing Services

Yes. You read that correctly. They hereby declared their duties of raising a child to be complete, citing that their son was now expected to be “a proper, excellent member of society.” These parents decided twenty years was plenty of time for him to become a fully functioning adult capable of caring for himself. I think I have to agree.

Remember back when you were almost an adult? I bet most of us couldn’t wait to move away from home. Turning eighteen, getting a crappy apartment or dorm room without mom and dad’s supervision? Wasn’t that the dream?

When did the dream die? What have parents done to this newer generation who, if we’re honest, is failing to launch? Yep, just like that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey movie, as it turns out: many kids just aren’t ready, or even willing, to leave the nest. 

Which leaves me to wonder: are we too good as parents or not good enough? When does tough love become too tough? When does taking care of our children become enabling them? And who gets to be the judge of that? 

However it happens, there is a healthy amount of respect for those young men and women who choose to take the path of joining the military. Leaving home and submersing yourself into a culture that is probably none too familiar, just after high school, and vowing to listen to the orders of some commanding officer… that takes some sort of belief in self, right? To me it does. 

Hmmm. I wonder if some of our military members received some sort of “certificate of kiddo completion” that prompted their direction. Hey, kudos on them. It beats wandering aimlessly and living in your parent’s basement!


~A

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