Were you aware that March is International Hamburger and
Pickle Month?
Yeah, me neither. But apparently it is.
Now, I’m a true Southerner transplanted to the
northern-most parts of the South (or as we call it in Texas, the North). I like
food greasy enough to aid in car repair. And I love hamburgers. With bacon. And
cheese. Lots of it.
But couldn’t we have agreed to make a month dedicated to
diet destruction closer to the start of winter rather than the end? Seriously.
The only countries that this could possibly benefit are Australia and New
Zealand, and with those incredibly alluring accents, who cares if they blow
their diets?! Do they even diet? I bet they don’t.
How are the other members of the modern world supposed to
participate in the celebration that is all things hamburger-lry and still fit
into a swimsuit in less than three months? How can we show our support for
those moist, delicious patties nestled between two soft and fluffy buns
sprinkled with sesame goodness and not throw the scale out of the window in
defeat?
We can’t. Well, some of us can (not me) - those blessed
souls who can eat absolutely anything and never gain an ounce. Those lucky
creatures can participate in this yummalicious celebration every day of the
month!
The rest of us, however, can only support from afar. We
can only send our fondest thoughts to the deliciousness that is the burger.
Unless swimsuit season means nothing. Then by all means,
bon apetit!
Sidenote: For all of you who did cave and participate,
perhaps over-imbibing on the burger-liciousness in the month of March, be sure
to visit the Ft. Myer or Ft. McNair Fitness Centers to mea culpa those
calories! All transgressions are confidential.
~A
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