But that IS my password…isn’t it?

On average, how many passwords do you believe a regular American citizen has? Twelve? Fifty? Two hundred? In 2007 a study found that we average 6.5 passwords for the web, 25 accounts that require passwords, and type an average of 8 passwords a day (pcworld.com). And that was eight years ago. Just imagine how that number has climbed.

And the rules surrounding these passwords have spiraled into ridiculous-dom.

It can’t be too obvious. It can’t be too personal. It must contain 14-29 characters that have upper case, lower case, asterisks and blood types. It cannot be any of your previous passwords. And be prepared to change the code in six to eight weeks. Or whatever. First-born sacrifices cannot be too far off in the future if this continues.

It’s too much.

So for my own 55 various logins, you know, for the usual suspects: work, school, bills, kids, I have to have unique password for each- just in case one gets hijacked.

And why in heaven’s name do we have to change them every so often?! I JUST etched the current one into my aging brain! I’ll never remember Couscous66!@#. How dare a site require that! (I have no idea why Couscous came to mind, as I’m certain I’ve never typed that word before!)

Like a lot of people I have resorted to storing my codes in a centralized locale. *gasp!

Oh the horror, right? Wrong. What is my other option? Leaving a paper trail directing me to where I store each individual code? Creating a labyrinth of post-its with little clues pointing me in the right direction? What if I lose one? Not “what if”, more like “when”…

So the two options are: put the codes into my smartphone OR keep a handy dandy little notebook and update each code as they require changes. There may be other options (like tattooing them on myself, ouch, no), but I for one am currently unaware of them. So now I’m wholly dependent on my phone to remind me how to log in to Twitter or Facebook, or what my login information is for work, or what the special code is to check my email. And they better not be the same! Oh no! Can’t risk an information breach!

And what if I lose my phone?! Don’t even get me started… If that phone gets lost, there goes every link to the technological world I have! And don’t expect me to call you either, for I haven’t memorized a telephone number since 1996. Oh who am I kidding, 1993.

Phew. So. Much.

So if you are currently awaiting a response on our JBMHHFMWR Facebook page or a wiley reply to a tweet @jbmhhfmwr, take heed: We haven’t snubbed you. I’m probably still looking for the pink (or was it green?) post-it I wrote the latest password on and pinned to my bulletin board. They made me change my password again last week, and for some reason Couscous66!@# just isn’t working.

~A