Dear Winter: It's not me, it's you!

Here we are, smack dab in the middle of winter. And that cold, cruel mistress it has called February. And along with her presence she inevitably gifts many of us the winter blues. But for a summer sun-worshiping, sun and sand loving, water baby like me, it’s especially rough.

I feel it coming every year. Summer winds down, bringing cooler days and brisk breezes in its wake. Autumn teases with her beautiful colors.

And then SHE arrives.

I try to stave it off. I play up the holidays, decorate for Halloween, gobble up that Thanksgiving turkey, look forward to the Christmas season, even lie to myself that New Year’s is simply a thrust into the upcoming spring! The dry skin of the winter is just my penance for my golden tan obtained by basking in the summer’s warm sun, I tell myself. Or, hey! I love snuggling into a big ol’ sweater when it’s cold!

But that’s all it is: one big lie.

 

For inevitably February reaches my door step. Shoving her nasty single-digit temperatures in my face and forcing her awful snow into my life. Creating an ice rink outdoors; and she knows how I struggle with gravity as it is!

The irony of it all is that the shortest month of the year is arguably the worst, weather and temperature-wise.

At least to me it is…. and I’m certain I’m not alone.

And February, oh February. Why must you be dreadful? You try and play off your nastiness by tempting me with Mardi Gras and Valentine’s Day, but I know better. Especially this year, when you slammed that terrible little snowstorm Valentine’s evening. Your attempts to sway my feelings don’t work.

And I have all of the weather apps, I do! They’re a must! I compare each forecast against the next, hoping for disagreements. Snow! Ice! No snow! Rain! -1 ° on Thursday, 15° on Friday, 54 on Saturday! Is February in Virginia going through some sort of change?! It’s too much for my weary weather-worn self!

Shoveling snow, sprinkling salt, bundling up…

Watching the sun come up later and set earlier…
When six o’clock at night feels like nine….

We need an app, an app that simulates summer. An app that casts a warm glow on us when there is only gray. There’s an app for everything else, why not that? An app that recreates a tropical beach that emanates warmth…and “swooshes” the waves in the background. C’mon Apple. Give me an iBeach, or an iTan. Lord knows we could all use an iEscape.

***Speaking of apps, be sure to check out our jbmhhfmwr app in your smart phone’s App Store! Just search ‘jbmhhfmwr,’ download, and get connected! We don’t offer a beach or a tan, but we do offer everything you could need on post! And when February and her wicked stepsisters March and April scoot their bums outta here, we will be offering info on the pools!

 

~A

 

But that IS my password…isn’t it?

On average, how many passwords do you believe a regular American citizen has? Twelve? Fifty? Two hundred? In 2007 a study found that we average 6.5 passwords for the web, 25 accounts that require passwords, and type an average of 8 passwords a day (pcworld.com). And that was eight years ago. Just imagine how that number has climbed.

And the rules surrounding these passwords have spiraled into ridiculous-dom.

It can’t be too obvious. It can’t be too personal. It must contain 14-29 characters that have upper case, lower case, asterisks and blood types. It cannot be any of your previous passwords. And be prepared to change the code in six to eight weeks. Or whatever. First-born sacrifices cannot be too far off in the future if this continues.

It’s too much.

So for my own 55 various logins, you know, for the usual suspects: work, school, bills, kids, I have to have unique password for each- just in case one gets hijacked.

And why in heaven’s name do we have to change them every so often?! I JUST etched the current one into my aging brain! I’ll never remember Couscous66!@#. How dare a site require that! (I have no idea why Couscous came to mind, as I’m certain I’ve never typed that word before!)

Like a lot of people I have resorted to storing my codes in a centralized locale. *gasp!

Oh the horror, right? Wrong. What is my other option? Leaving a paper trail directing me to where I store each individual code? Creating a labyrinth of post-its with little clues pointing me in the right direction? What if I lose one? Not “what if”, more like “when”…

So the two options are: put the codes into my smartphone OR keep a handy dandy little notebook and update each code as they require changes. There may be other options (like tattooing them on myself, ouch, no), but I for one am currently unaware of them. So now I’m wholly dependent on my phone to remind me how to log in to Twitter or Facebook, or what my login information is for work, or what the special code is to check my email. And they better not be the same! Oh no! Can’t risk an information breach!

And what if I lose my phone?! Don’t even get me started… If that phone gets lost, there goes every link to the technological world I have! And don’t expect me to call you either, for I haven’t memorized a telephone number since 1996. Oh who am I kidding, 1993.

Phew. So. Much.

So if you are currently awaiting a response on our JBMHHFMWR Facebook page or a wiley reply to a tweet @jbmhhfmwr, take heed: We haven’t snubbed you. I’m probably still looking for the pink (or was it green?) post-it I wrote the latest password on and pinned to my bulletin board. They made me change my password again last week, and for some reason Couscous66!@# just isn’t working.

~A

I wonder if Murphy ever tried to get healthy?

So here we are, nearing six weeks into the New Year. How are those fitness resolutions going? Diets? Are we still sticking to our promises, or have we fallen prey to the normal, the routine, and the ordinary? If you’ve stood true against your New Year resolution, hey! Great job! If you haven’t, well now, don’t think all is lost and you have to wait for the calendar to roll over once again.

Many people have this misconstrued idea that beginning a health program means waiting until Monday, finishing off all of the bad food in the house- you know, just so it’s all out of the pantry and doesn’t go to waste- or in quarterly increments. As a personal trainer, I believe I have heard them all. Oh my.

The problem is this: Day One doesn’t have to be a Monday. Or January 1^st. Or three months before bikini season. Day One can be a Wednesday at 1 pm. Or a Saturday night at 9!

And we certainly don’t need to ingest five thousand calories of Hershey’s chocolate just to get it out of the house! Truly, that is a severe case of “cutting off your nose to spite your face!” Just. Stop.

Seriously. Now.

All it takes to begin anew is to look in the mirror and say “today I will be better than I was yesterday.”

That’s it.

Well, okay, that’s not it. That’s mostly it.

Many of my clients would come to me and say how hard it was to start exercising AND dieting at the same time. It’s too much. And I agree with them. The word “diet” conjures all sorts of negative images in our minds, and it may be the one word that sabotages itself. I prefer “healthier eating” instead.

Start off by making small choices: Italian dressing over French, eggs for breakfast instead of cereal, water instead of soda, or black coffee instead of adding creamer. Then gradually replace other items in your life, like parking further away from your building at work and walking farther, or penciling in twenty minutes to use the treadmill at the gym. Those little changes add up, and then you may see yourself hungering for bigger changes. Besides, no one ever woke up after the Super Bowl, said “I’m climbing Everest at noon,” and did so successfully. Ever. Baby steps.

Incorporate the Myer Fitness Center (or McNair Fitness Center, your call) into your activity plans! After all, that’s why we’re here. Like to dance? Try Zumba on most days of the week (times vary, call 703.696.7868 for times). Is biking more your speed? Monday’s and Wednesdays at 1700 you can mount up for Spin! (again, call and confirm dates and times!) We have Yoga and senior classes available too!

If classes aren’t your dream come true, why not lock in time with one of our personal trainers to get your workout on the right path? Seriously, when I started out I hired a trainer because I (and I quote) “just want to be a robot, you tell me what to do.” Not knowing my way around the gym was a little intimidating, plus I didn’t know how to make my body look like what I wanted. For me? Hiring a trainer was so very worth it, and taught me how to help other people later on.

Oh yeah, and summer is approaching. Don’t fear swimsuit season, embrace it. Add swimming laps to your summer routine and you’ll see even more positive changes. I guarantee it. Plus, the kids love the pool anyway, and treading water while playing with kids burns more calories than you’d expect. Multitasking at its finest!

If we treated every day like “Day One,” filled with the enthusiasm and confidence we throw ourselves into at the beginning of any new project or idea, just imagine the success rates that would occur. It would be monumental.

But let’s face it: we’re not all going to look like Julian Michaels or Bob Harper. And moms, let’s all accept we probably won’t fit back into our pre-pregnancy high school jeans. But let’s also not be so hard on ourselves and declare the battle of the bulge lost. It’s not lost. It just takes a few baby steps into commitment to your future self to begin those small changes now.

So now what? you may be asking. Just to send you in the right direction, we’re giving you the link to the hottest fitness apps of 2015. We could all use a little help along our path to a healthier lifestyle, so feel free to peruse these and see if any tickle your fancy. With all of the technology available today, we are lucky to have assistance right at our fingertips!

http://fitbottomedgirls.com/2015/01/top-fitness-apps-for-a-happy-and-healthy-2015/#_a5y_p=3135751

YouTube of Zumba: https://www.youtube.com/user/lovezumba

YouTube of Spin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hl1WAGKjMc

And P.S. If you happen to feel yourself begin to slide off the track once again, just look in the mirror, regroup, and tell yourself tomorrow is a new day! Another “Day One!” The finisher of every 26.1 mile marathon started with a single step. And a few days of only running one mile. And probably more than one set-back, start over, or slip-up in the diet.

~A

 

Adulthood has its nemesis…

Several years ago I had an unfortunate accident.

23 year old me had quite a lovely collection of wines in my little wine rack, a rack purchased especially from Pier One because it was so pretty. Above the pretty little wine rack rested a shelf on the wall, installed by moi (therein lies the antagonist of this story.) And there they sat for many months, the shelf collecting knick-knacks (and some dust), the wine rack struggling to maintain capacity against my daily requirement to sample its wares. Successfully, I eventually had filled each hole with a different bottle of wine, mostly red, with pride.

One evening, having dinner in my little dining room with friends, laughing and joking, we heard a “CRASH!” from across the room. You guessed it: my shelf had fallen prey to my abominable handiwork and flaw-filled installation and come crashing down onto the wine rack. Gasp! And there went several of my red wines, broken and spilled onto the almost-white carpet of my rental townhome!

Oh. My. Goodness. All I could see were dollar signs before my eyes as I imagined the bill for having to replace the carpet in the house.

Just my luck.

From behind me a friend said, “Quick, pick up the broken glass and sop up as much of the liquid as possible.”

I was skeptical. I didn’t think that would help much. After all, it was red wine. RED. The color of blood, of broken dreams, of my landlord’s eyes when she saw what happened.

But my friend-in-shining-armor just smiled, grabbed baking soda and vinegar, and poured both onto the stains. A few treatments of pouring and dabbing and the stain was slinking away. She promised to return the following day with her steam cleaner in tow to finish the job.

And guess what. It worked.

Baking soda and vinegar saved my carpet, and my security deposit, from destruction. Hallelujah. Miracles do happen.

In the many (many, many) years since that incident, little hacks like the baking soda and vinegar one have saved my behind in a crunch. How about you? I know we’ve all begged the heaven’s for a little help now and then.

So in tribute to the Great Wine Debacle of…Yesteryear (I’m seriously not saying WHAT year, which would be silly!) I present to you:

Life Hacks!!

1) Painting a room but it’s taking longer than a day? Put the wet brush or roller into a zip lock bag (or a plastic bag with a rubber band) and zip the wet paint in! It will keep it moist for a couple of days, but beware of molds forming if you wait too long!

2) No room in under the sink? Hang a curtain rod up, then hang your cleaners on the rod! Voila!

3) Spilled wax when blowing out that candle? If it is on carpet or fabric simply place a washcloth over the spill, then use an iron to transfer the wax from the carpet to the rag!

4) Grease on your clothes? Rub white chalk over the stain. The chalk absorbs the stain

5) Use a squeegee (you know, for the shower?) to pull pet hair out of the carpet!

6) Dirty microwave? Fill a bowl with water and vinegar and microwave it, allowing the steam to loosen dried food or messes, making it simple to wipe away!

7) Put a stocking over the end of the vacuum hose to find tiny items, such as earrings

8) If you mess up a voicemail to someone, simply press “#” to erase and re-record

9) Adding one teaspoon of baking soda when boiling eggs makes the shell remove easier

10) And in honor of the Great Wine Debacle: Freeze grapes to chill white wine without watering it down!

You’re welcome ;)

~A